In a Perfect World we would be something like a Norman Rockwell painting. All the kids are happy, smiling, laughing. Both parents are living in the same household. The moms cook and clean and take care of the children while the dad works and relaxes smoking his cigar on his favorite arm chair in the house.
When it comes to discipline in a Norman Rockwell depiction, I would imagine the scene would be very relaxed with no yelling. The mother in her dress and apron, would put her hands on her hips and give a slight frown. The child would then stop what they were doing or already know what they are doing is bad and put their head down. This perfect family would then hug, kiss, and tell each other how proud they are of each other, and settle the dispute with a fresh batch of homemade cookies.
Perfection is unrealistic.
Life is not like a Norman Rockwell painting. Unfortunately, this idealistic image of how an American family is supposed to be, has made a lot of parents feel that they are not doing good enough.
We can’t all be on the PTO/PTA board at our kids school, pack them sacked lunches, read them stories every night, or always be that smiling parent who never seems to loose their cool.
It’s ok not to be like magazines, movies, or like the local mom who seems to have it all and have time to attend every school event. There is nothing wrong about those who are able to accomplish this and still make time for a career or social life. The most important thing to remember, is to not hold yourself to an unrealistic idea of what you “should” be.
We can be great parents with full time jobs, social life’s, hobbies, or even personal problems. We aren’t always going to have good days. And some days might even feel fantastic!
Five principles of positive parenting:
- Respond promptly, lovingly to cries, or emotional upsets
- Understand child’s cues for food, rest, or play and comfort and attend to them accordingly
- Give full focused attention w/o distraction be present in the moment
- Provide lots of positive attention, talking, laughing, playing and cuddles
- Practice good communication skills
- Respect their bodies
- Allow them to make choices
- Be honest
- Respect space
- Avoid embarrassment
- Speak kindly to and about them
3. Proactive Parenting:
- Have plans of action for unfavorable behavior
4. Empathetic I